Live life fully while you’re here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You’re going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don’t try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human.

I was born into a family with expectations so high, I just want to be free to spread my wings and fly. Everyday I wake up and question myself. Why do I try so hard? Why do I continue to go on and on? Life just seems to be so very very long. Where is my shining knight to sweep me in his arms? To save me from the dragon called fate, From this life I truly truly hate.

I can’t pretend anymore Hate swelling in my core Why does it have to be this way? Dreading each and every day. I want to break free Can’t you look and see, You’re breaking me

I look into your eyes and see no regret This is it, the ball of destiny has been set. You thought you were saving me, Why couldn’t you just let me be? I remember all the times you’d yell, I was falling apart and you couldn’t tell. I had my mask on Playing this masquerade for to long.

I can’t pretend anymore Hate swelling in my core Why does it have to be this way? Dreading each and everyday I want to break free Can’t you look and see You’re breaking me

I can’t pretend anymore Hate swelling in my core Why does it have to be this way? Dreading each and everyday I want to break free Can’t you look and see You’re breaking me

I place the knife to my wrist I enjoy this momentary bliss. Red stains the bathroom floor Opening my wings I can finally soar. I don’t care about the tears you’ll cry. I left without a goodbye, Because—

I can’t pretend anymore Hate swelling in my core Why does it have to be this way? Dreading eatch and everyday I want to break free Can’t you look and see You’re breaking me You’re breaking me You broke me.

Why do people ask what’s love about? I won’t hear me, even if I jump and shout. It’s not that I’m making no sound, But it’s something that’s all around.

Noone knows what love is for sure, Unless you’ve opened your hearts door. You don’t know when you’re in love, It’s just a blessing from those above!

How can anyone say “I used to love one”, Even though they’ve turned away and gone. For when you’re in love, you don’t know, It just happens as your heart will show.

You fall in and out of it in a snap, Buts that’s it’s dangerous and vemonious trap, You will never witness the power it holds, It has many faces and different moulds.

So what is this love you claim to feel? For I am certain it is nothing that’s real, Maybe I’m the one in living in reality, Everyone else living in their own fantasy!

There Comes A Time In Life When You Have To Let Go Of All The Pointless Drama And The People Who Create It And Surround Yourself With People Who Make You Laugh So Hard That You Forget The Bad And Focus Solely On The good. After All, Life Is Too Short To Be Anything But Happy!

Ever noticed how a minute can seem so long?
How it stands still when times are so wrong.
Ever noticed how a minute can go so fast?
In good times when you wish they would last.
Ever notice how dark the skies can really be?
On those nights when your feeling a little lonely.
Ever notice how bright the skies can seem?
When your not afraid to let yourself dream.
Ever notice how love can break your heart?
Moving in completely and ripping it apart.
Ever notice how love can also set you free?
Opening your eyes so you can see eternity.
Ever notice how time can stand still?
Haunting your mind and weakening your will.
Ever notice how time can pass right by?
Taking precious moments in a blink of an eye.
Ever notice how life can be so unfair?
Leaving pain and sorrows without even a care.
Ever notice how life can be so sweet?
Pieces coming together making us so complete.
Ever notice when you love someone to much?
Closer you try to get the further your out of touch.
Ever notice when you love someone with all
Makes everything else seems so small.
For I have taken notice of all these things you see
Because of all this love you have given to me.

I’ve done alot of thinking tonight about alit of things! So let me start from the beginning.

A few nights ago, I was up late talking to people as I do generally. But there was one conversation in particular that had me fixed. The longer it went on the less I wanted it to end. Full of laughs and smiles, made me feel good in myself like I haven’t done in a long time! But soon it came to the point where it had to end, like all good things in life. Same scenario with the same person happened the next night aswell. It filled me with much warmth and happiness, it felt to much like a dream to be true, but it was real, these feelings were true! We talked into the night and once again it came to an end. An end that feels like a new beginning. Bringing the story now to the day I have just lived, the day I may well of come to understand myself! It was pretty much just another ordinary day, but from te moment I woke up I had things on mind. So I decided to think nothing more and distract my thoughts playing games and learning a new riff or two! A the afternoon slowly drifted on I got to speak to that person again, even if it wasn’t the most entertaining convo it still made me warm and smile! But it doesn’t need to be entertaining when they make you feel the way I felt! As the day continued, I felt good in myself and soon met up with a friend who joined me to see my mates band. During the gig we had a good laugh as I took some photos as usual. Soon to recieve a text from a certain friend who I briefly met outside amongst some of their friends. To be honest, being face to face I found it hard to find the right words and choked. Awkward. Shortly after they left to do their own thing, but noone knew how I felt inside, not even myself. As the night progressed on I met some familiar faces I hadn’t seen in a while! But as thoughts ran through my mind, my mood became lower.

This is where I’m going to explain what I thought and the conclusion I came to!

First of all really, I wasn’t used to being recognised by so many people, especially ones that greet me with a smile, even less used to being hugged! Seeing so many people out and about all enjoying themselves with their friends, made me feel lonely almost! Thinking about that loneliness made me realise how much I miss having someone to look forward to seeing, to embrace and say those words! It was obvious who I have feelings for as only one name ran through my mind without even a whisper of any other! The one I would protect with all for years to come! Another thing that I’m definitly not used to is saying and being told ‘LoveYou’ by friends. As much as I try to be a friend, I’m not use to friends that think that way towards me, even if it is only in friendship! Seeing my friends smile, laughing and having fun, the hugs I get to give and recieve from them and the chance to say ‘LoveYou’ to them made me realise, even in my lonely feeling self, that I don’t need alcohol or drugs to make me happy and smile… I need nothing but these friends! <3

That’s my answer to this neverending story that I write everyday of my life!

Don’t You Hate Thinking To Yourself About Stuff That Probably Will Never Happen?

Hmmm.. I talk to you often.. you really make me smile, always on the same wavelength.. But I’m scared.. Scared that if I should tell you.. you’d distance yourself..

I’m A Writer. Much of what I write is from pure emotion. You’ll probably find something that you can relate to..

rockstar637:

Photo by Ruth Regalado (rockstar637)

Who agrees?

Hidden Soul Of A Broken Angel

Well, since I’m new here I might aswell give you a brief story on my life and how I came to be me today. All the events, people and feelings that have their part in my story.

Firstly though before I retrace the chapters through my story heres something for you to read and maybe reflect or relate to;

You’ve all heard this before.
How life has infinite possibilities.
I don’t believe that one bit.
There weren’t many paths for me to choose.
Sometimes, there would only be one.
From the limited possibilities I faced,
The choices I made have brought me this far.
That’s why I value the path I chose…
I want to hold true to the path that HAD to be taken.
It’s not like I drifted here on the tides of fate.
I’m here because I chose to be here.
As a kid, I couldn’t really go out on my own…
There were no other paths to take…
I’m not a kid anymore…
I’m strong enough to take care of myself.
Make my own decisions…
Thats how my path has got me here!

Thats how I look at life.

Now let me tell you a story…

Once A Shy and active youngster, playing from break of dawn to dusk of night, he lived in a small village called Nancegollan. It was here he was brought up with a traditional father and a young mother. It was at the age of three years old when his mother left. Leaving the father to bring up this boy with his older brother and sister. His father, George, aged 60 years of age when left to manage these three children; aged 3, 4 and 5, was a man of character and knew what was best. A well loved man who had a very firm grip of what life was. In which all these wise teachings he passed onto his 3 children throughout the years.

Nancegollan had a bad reputation due to gypsy and asbo families. A place you would forbid bringing up children. But with little options, it would seem that there was no choice in the matter.

As the years went on the children started to grow up, learning much from their wise father. In fact they learnt more than they probably ever realised! From general communication towards other people stretching ot to having the survival skills if they were ever bound into the wilderness.

This youngster, being as shy and timid as a mouse, led himself quite a solitary life. Being a loner made it the easiest way to get through each day. His school life was hard. Due to certain charactistics of the body and family name, he took alot of bullying throughout the years of primary school. Still he choose to suffer in silence, scared of what people might think or say should he speak of such things.

Moving on a couple more years, maybe now he’s in secondary school, things might get easier. New start, new friends and new experiences! The first year was a bumpy one. Hardly made any friends, never really did fit in properly and for being bullied it was just the same as before..

The second year of secondary school was abit more positive! Having broken out of his shell to a degree, he was becoming more social and involved in everything. Was during this year he made a very close friend, someone who was there during hard times. They spent every possible moment hanging out! Should one of them get a detention, the other was soon to follow! Even when it came to getting a Saturday Detention they were there for each other.

Coming into the third year, looking forward to seeing his mate after a long summer break, quite excited about actually being back in school, had really come out of the shell and broken the shyness away! The first few days back and his mate hadnt been in school.. was then he heard the horiffic news that his mate, along with his two sisters, brother and mother had all been murdered by the step dad.. This was the first event that started causing issues within the boy.. Throughout the year, skipping days off school became quite the novelty. He had alot of bad reports and was visited by the E.W.O about his attendance. Being bullied was becoming more of an issue as it started to become physical aswell as verbal..

The last 2 years of his school life were made up from skipping school, getting in fights and he’d become quite the kleptomanic. Most of his days he spent wandering the streets avoiding the authorities and faculty that were on the look out for drop outs as such! No matter how many times he was told or caught, he refused to go into school…

He left with no GCSEs at all…

From here in his story, he developed a very inclosed mind and way of thinking! He became a real loner, independant to himself. The last thing he wanted was the burden of others on him. If it wasnt his problem, he didnt want to know. Although he was, what could have been described as ‘A Ladies Man’. Always knew how to get the girls and spent alot of time playing the field and going for the catch. Until he met this one girl.

This young adult fell for this very attractive girl and soon enough they were together. Being emotionally unstable she seemed like she was perfect to help this matter. Always there, cheerful and a heart of gold. During his time with this girl, his father who was aged 79 at this time, passed away. It came as a shock to the family, but due to his illnesses wasnt completely unexpected. Though it happened sooner than anyone would of thought. Life went abit topsy turvy and he became very mentally unstable. Even moving in with his partner and her family never really helped, but soon brought him to a stable happy level. In much enjoyment in the near future he was engaged to this lovely young woman. But it was from that moment things really went down hill.. and within a year, the relationship was over.

The way the relationship ended affected the way he sees women.  He still to the day, struggles to find trust in people and still cant bring himself to engage in a new relationship, no matter how lonely he does feel…

Just the recent years left now. These can be sumed up quickly.. more because its hard to talk about these last couple of years.

…Infact, I’m just gunna cut these into bulletpoint or brief notes.. Im just not really ready to write out this chapter…

Basically, Had a stable job, good friends and a well maintained lifestyle..

For the down bringing of it there was a couple of events. His biggest passion, his freedom, his soul even was stolen from him. A very passionate biker who rode to feel the freedom only birds have. Then the worst scenario… only a few hundred yards from where he was working. his longest term friend of 17 years was pulled out of the harbour.. in his car… This is when his mind completely went off the rails and he hit a new addiction.. a drug that has caused prolonged side effects which effectively lost him his job and lost him some good mates…

Thats basically it really.

Even though my mental state is a complete mess and I cant seem to find my own two feet at the moment, I’m that one friend who walks in when the rest of the world has walked out. I care for every friend like they are my own blood.. without them, who knows where i’d be or if i’d even still be alive…

Im a genuine guy.. without being big ego’d or up myself I can probably safely say, you’ll struggle to find a nicer guy than who I am…

Thanks for taking the time to read.. Hope it helps you understand the person I am and maybe it’ll explain alot of what I may well write about on here…